As part of our homework for the PS-MAPP class that we are currently enrolled in, we had to write a letter to the birth parents of a child that may be staying in our home.

This was difficult for me - I have never been a parent and so I don't understand the full emotions of having your child taken away from you. I don't fully understand the reasoning why a child had to be removed from their parent's home - what events led up to this point.  It is hard for me to be able to show love and respect to a parent who was not giving their child the right amount of care, nurture, and love in order to grow up emotionally, developmentally, and physically.

In writing this letter, I regularly had to remind myself to show mercy and grace to the birth parent of a child that might stay in my home - no matter what their life situation is - we have all made mistakes.

I had to think to myself what information I would want to know about somebody that my child was staying with - what their home was like - but I am unable to share too much information as to keep some privacy for our family.

I wanted to show the birth parent that as long as their child is in my home that they will be loved and cared for - and that I would never speak poorly of them to their child - that even through their poor mistakes, I still wanted them to be respected as a person. 

Here is our letter:

Hello,

Thank you so much for giving us this opportunity to introduce ourselves and tell you about our family. We are David and Sarah. We cannot imagine the emotion and energy it takes to work through your current life situation, and we pray that you have good people around you to help you make safe and healthy decisions for yourself and your family. We have never been parents, but know that words cannot express the love between a parent and their child.

David works full time as an assistant store manager at a local auto parts store and Sarah works full time as a teller supervisor at a local bank. We live in a small town community, in a two-story home with 2 bedrooms. Our home is at the end of a cul-de-sac in a neighborhood filled with young children. We have a 2 year old dog named Trixie who loves kids and the opportunity to be chased and played with.

We believe that the greatest responsibility in having your child in our home is to ensure them that God loves them, you love them, and that they are loved by us. Faith and family are the foundation of our lives.

Our parents were our best teachers, so let us begin with how we were raised:

Sarah: I grew up in Kansas. My father is a bi-vocational pastor. My mother stayed home with the four us – me, my sisters, Esther and Rachel, and my brother, Caleb – until I was out of high school, and then she worked part time at a family counseling center. When I was young, we moved from St. Louis to Wellington, Kansas, as my dad was asked to pastor a church in the area. It was then my family became really close because we moved away from all of our extended family and friends to a place where we knew nobody but each other.

In our family, it was important that we all chipped in around the house, whether it was working in the yard, helping with laundry, or cleaning the house. My parents were loving, but strict, and were advocates for communication about our feelings and the emotions we were feeling throughout life events and situations. I have grown to appreciate the way my parents protected and guided me. As a child, I always knew I was loved – even when I was unhappy with the rules.

I am still really close with my brother and sisters. We see each other often. I have 6 nieces and nephews. One of my favorite activities is to play with them- coloring, playing with blocks, reading books – whatever they enjoy!

David: I spent my childhood living in Nebraska and moved to Kansas when I was 11 years old when my father’s job moved him. My parents provided me with a warm, loving home. I am the oldest of 4 children followed by my brother, Dan, sister, Naomi, and youngest brother, Mark. I have 16 cousins who grew up nearby; having such a large family living so close was a lot fun.

I am still close with my brothers, sister, and extended family.

My strongest memories from childhood are during the New Year’s Holiday. My family would travel to Nebraska to meet my aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins at a local hotel where we would stay all weekend and swim in the pool, play cards, watch movies, and bring in the New Year together. We no longer go to the same hotel each year, but the whole family still gets together each New Year’s Holiday weekend to celebrate together!

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We spend a lot of time with our families, and include them in our daily lives. We go camping at a lake with David’s family at least twice year. When visiting our families we enjoy playing games, watching movies, and just being together.

We are student ministry leaders at our church and currently lead a group of teenagers and young adults on a weekly basis as well as assist in other leadership roles, as needed. In our role as student ministry leaders, we encourage young people in their walk with God and in their faith by developing relationships, creating outreach programs and events, and being role models for the students and young adults in our church.

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We dated for 3 years before we were married, at ages 20 and 28, and have now been married for almost 5 years. We knew each other well; had a love for our families, stood strong in our faith in God, and had similar goals and values for living and for our future.

What makes our marriage special is how we compliment each other. Sarah is organized. David is creative and curious. David is punctual, and punctuality is not Sarah’s strong point. David makes decisions quickly and Sarah likes to take her time and think about her options. We have fun together and we laugh all the time. We enjoy watching movies and TV shows together and also like spending time at the local coffee shops with friends and family.

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We understand that the goal of the state for children is to reunify them with their parents. We will do what we can to assist in achieving that goal. We will treat you with kindness and respect and we will encourage your child to maintain a safe and healthy relationship with you. We will take pictures to share with you for the times that you are not together. We will never deny your child the right to their family history.

After trying to have children of our own and having been unsuccessful, we were initially upset; but after thinking and praying about what was important to us, we realized that loving and nurturing a child was far more important than giving birth. Foster care gives us the opportunity to temporarily love on your child, and help you and your child be together once again.

While your child is staying with us, we can guarantee that he will feel loved, nurtured, and cared for in every aspect of his life.

Thank you for trusting and giving us the opportunity to provide for your child at this time. We want to assist in every way possible for your family to be reintegrated soon.

David and Sarah