I had a co-worker ask me yesterday, “How do you balance it all – isn’t it tough being a full-time working mom, a wife, and a mom to 3 under the age of 3?” Yes, Yes it is – but totally worth it!
I think a lot of times moms get asked this because there is a need for balance everywhere.
My thoughts immediately go to two women in Luke. Mary and Martha. Women have been wrestling with the Mary/Martha syndrome since the time of Jesus. As a young mom, often times my internal “good Christian woman” measuring tool is Martha-like. The woman who did everything:
· A helpmate to her husband
· A creative, patient and nurturing mother
· An organized, creative, particular homemaker
· An involved, busy, gracious leader at church
· Etc.
“But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’” (Luke 10:40)
As much as I enjoy being a “Martha” [I love the feeling of checking things off of my to do list!] - it also can leave me tired and feeling inadequate when I can’t get everything done. Often times, I long to be like Mary, sitting at Jesus’ feet, listening to what He said.
In my short journey of parenting, so far, I am learning that you can’t be a Martha and a Mary at the same time. Attempting to do so creates anxiety and struggle from expectations we put on ourselves and those we let others put on us. Every voice around us says, “You can do it all. You should do it all.”
Jesus says, “Daughter, dear Daughter, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it—it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.” (The Message, paraphrase from Luke 10:41-42)
I am sure that I am not the only mama that gets worked up over things that aren’t eternal. Only one thing is essential, sitting and listening to the Father. The voice whose power created the entire universe – that is the voice who wants to speak into our hearts and renew us.
I am learning that balancing motherhood and being a good wife lies in spending time with Jesus first. It takes priority over everything else. Balance does not come in serving more at church or in attending more bible studies. Busyness in good things is not a substitute for God’s best.God’s best lies in worship, adoration, and rest in Him when we spend time at His feet – in prayer and in the word.
The world’s expectations – even in Christian circles – say when we are busy doing good things, then we’re a good woman, mom and wife. Jesus simply wants us to spend time with him.
I am learning that balancing my life rests in priorities. Making time with Jesus balances all other activities and attitudes of my heart.
When I’m stressed by the demands of life and don’t make time to be with my Comforter, I feel out of balance, pulled in all directions, out of whack!
But spending a few minutes alone, Mary-like, listening to the Father, allows me to engage in busy activities with a peaceful spirit and gracious attitude. I can handle more when I spend time at His feet. Some days, I get a chance to have a few, quiet minutes alone – typically this occurs, if I am awake enough, at my 2:00am pumping session each morning. Other days, a quiet moment cannot be found anywhere with an inquisitive toddler, a teething baby, and a colicky newborn.
I am learning that mothering is hard.Having the assistance of the Holy Spirit makes it easier. Busyness is not the answer. Prioritizing time is .
If I were to die today, I don’t want my kids to remember a mom who is stressed because the dishes need to be cleaned or the laundry needs to be folded, but to have a mom who reflects the peace of Christ.
